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Professional critique and extensive editing of a Medical Residency Personal Statement

I have written a personal statement (1.5 pages) for a medical residency in the United states in Internal Medicine. I would like the editor to have some background knowledge in medicine so they can provide professional critique and make improvements to my essay.

The essay is about applying to internal medicine.

Some things to think about (from previous advice):

Cydney Foote

Your personal statement needs quite a bit more work than that. It's not until the 3rd paragraph that you even get into any details about the specialty you've chosen - your deliberations at the start will not stand out, as every med student faces a similar decision and has to work through it in their own way. Instead, help us understand the actual experiences that (1) brought you to Medicine and (2) have prepared you to excel in this specialty. This demands a first-hand awareness of what is involved as well as evidence to support your claims that you're ready to contribute to this field. I'm not getting a good sense of that yet. You mention teaching but it's primarily directed toward students, not patients, although you briefly mention a patient with whom you discussed end-of-life issues - detailing this would provide the proof the reader needs to understand your skills. Same with the Red Cross work - this could be a great demonstration of your ability to handle emergent situations. However, this needs to be tied more directly to Medicine, maybe by detailing the continuity of care it afforded.

Other elements of IM are missing. How's your diagnostic skill? How do you do with physical exams? What experiences have you had that impressed you in this field and that made you want to join it? Without that, program directors aren't going to believe you'll be able to contribute to their residency teams.

Skills: Editing, Ghostwriting, Medical Writing, Proofreading, Research Writing

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