386639 Countdown Timer with a twist

I am making a sales page - I want to make it a limited time offer...I know there are scripts like this out there, but I haven't been able to find exactly what I'm looking for: 1. Display the exact date and time (to the second) that the person lands on the sales page. 2. A count down timer, that will start counting down from that time, that cannot be reset by simply refreshing the page - if they leave and come back tomorrow I want the correct amount of time left for that individual. (it's going to be a 5 day offer). If they are savvy enough to clear their browser history, good on them, I don't need to make it 'bullet proof', but if there is a simple way that's a bonus. 3. A count-up timer that randomly goes up by 1...so - as a customer lands on the page it starts at 62 (or some arbitrary number), then goes to 63 2minutes later, then to 64 4minutes and 20 seconds later, then to 65 7minutes and 17 seconds later...basically goes up by one at random times 2 - 5 minutes apart. This is to signify orders being sold, with a claim that we only have some 'limited' number left...ie 1000. 4. After the timer runs out make the page 'refresh' or go to another page where it goes back to the regular price. The current page is php, and is a replicated site...meaning I have affiliates who will be able to promote this also - if that matters to you. The replicating part is already done though. This, of course, doesn't 'have' to be done in Java, I just assume that's how it would be most easily accomplished...but I don't know. Once this project is complete, just show me the basics of changing variables, I may want a 2 day sale in the future ;) Thanks! Jay