Words of wisdom funny jobs

Preparing financial statements for the year 2023 typically involves gathering data from various sources such as income statements, balance sheets, and cash flow statements. This data is then organized, analyzed, and compiled into the appropriate financial statement formats following accounting principles and standards. Additionally, any necessary adjustments or reconciliations are made to ensure accuracy and compliance with regulatory requirements.

I'm seeking an English to Spanish translator for my 82,000-word fiction book. - The genre of the book is fiction, so I need a linguist with experience in translating diverse literary styles and nuances. - I'm looking for a literal translation, aiming to maintain the original meaning and tone of the text. - After the translation, the document will need proofreading to ensure accuracy and fluency in the Spanish language. Ideal skills for this job include: - Expertise in English to Spanish translation, particularly in fiction. - Attention to detail for maintaining the essence and style of the original text. - Proficiency in proofreading for linguistic accuracy. - Previous experience in book translation is a plus. Please bid with your proposed timeline and re...

I'm seeking someone with a built-in infotainment system who can test an application for retrieving speed and fuel level data via Android Auto. I'm interested in verifying whether the application accurately displays the car's speed and fuel level.

Objective: To create a captivating and culturally relevant article that highlights must-visit destinations in Germany for potential travelers from Malaysia. The article should be easy to understand and resonate with the preferences and interests of the Malaysian audience. Article Requirements: Language: The article can be written in either Malay or English. Length: 500 words and above. Content: The article should cover popular tourist attractions, hidden gems, cultural experiences, and any unique features that would appeal to Malaysian travelers. Style: The writing should be engaging, informative, and accessible, avoiding overly complex language. It should inspire curiosity and excitement about visiting Germany. Cultural Relevance: Include references or comparisons that are...

I'm looking for an experienced and creative individual to design and craft a viral, hilarious meme for teenagers. Key Requirements: - The meme should be in video clip format - It should be engaging, funny, and understand teenage humour well. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Prior experience in creating memes, especially in video format - An understanding of teenage humour and what appeals to them socially and culturally - A portfolio that reflects successful, engaging, and shared memes - Strong video editing skills to create a compelling final product Please keep in mind that the goal is not only to create a meme, but also to make it shareable among teenagers. Looking forward to see some exciting proposals!

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...be exact copies. Can be the same text, also with McDuck or Bunny. Hight resolution of arts 8000x6000px. We want also source files in PSD to change/remove a texts. We are looking for someone for a long-term cooperation. Send your portfolio to get an impression of your previous work. 1st artwork: Mr Bunny with Mrs. Bunny, graffiti background White Text: A journey to Love: 2nd artwork: McDuck with lots of USD White Text: Forbes 3rd artwork: McDuck with lots of money, cigar in hand Gold Text: NO LUCK ALL HUSTLE 4th artwork: McDuck with bottles of Dom Pérignon Gold Text: DRINK CHAMPAGNE - SAVE WATER 5th artwork: McDuck with money in background with gun in his hand, cigar in mouth Gold Text: NO MONEY - NO FUNNY 6th artwork: Bunny looks luxury...

I'm in need of an experienced Reddit virtual assistant who can successfully engage user interaction in a fun and engaging way. Your tasks will include: - Regularly posting relevant, funny and general content with a knack for memes. - Actively driving discussions on said topics to boost community interaction. It would be ideal if your skills and experience have a touch of wittiness, understanding of meme culture, and overall, a strong grasp of sparking interesting conversations within the Reddit platform. Prior experience in user engagement and community management on Reddit is also highly valued. Knowledge on how Reddit operates and functions is critical, so previous experience in posting and interacting on the platform will put you at an advantage...

...talented graphic designer to help me create some cool and funny T-shirts for my brand targeting professionals in the IT industry. You don't need to know code, but understanding some tech humor will be helpful! Key Responsibilities: - Translate my ideas into visually appealing and humorous designs for T-shirts - Create innovative and quirky designs with an insider IT perspective - Collaborate with me to ensure that the designs appeal to our target audience and align with our brand image Experience & Skills: - Proven experience in graphic design and expertise on design software and technologies. (Only Basic understanding of IT) - Strong aesthetic skills with the ability to combine various colors, fonts, and layouts - Understanding of the IT industry, it...

We are seeking an experienced developer to convert the SPM12 GUI interface, currently built o...at SPM12 GitHub repository Objectives: • Translate the entire SPM12 codebase from MATLAB to Python while maintaining functionality. • Develop a Python-based GUI that replicates the current MATLAB interface. • Ensure the converted application integrates well with Python scientific computing stacks. Key Deliverables: • A fully functional Python version of SPM12. • Source code with comments and documentation. • A user guide for the Python-based GUI. Skills Required: • Proficiency in MATLAB and Python programming languages. • Experience with GUI development in Python. • Familiarity with scientific computing and numerical methods.

I need to have the design of a face mask made. It will cover the whole face (refer full face ). The design should look like a funny, cartoonish, smiling red colored car. It should have at least eyes and smile. If I print it and put it on my face, the eyes should be in place of real eyes, the smile should be in place of real smile i.e. the proportions of the final image should match accordingly. The resolution should be at least 2160x3840. Also check other reference images. The mask should be a standard size that fits most people comfortably. Don't give me a random quote, give me a real quote.

You are required to write a report of 2400 words or equivalent in the style of a journal paper on an advanced contemporary topic in computer science. Your report should have the form and the style of a research publication and should have at least 12 references from journals, refereed conferences and other resources Ideal Skills and Experience: - Experienced in report writing - Able to conduct thorough research - Capable of writing in an engaging and informative manner - Able to work with minimal guidance.

Hello, I'm looking for someone who can assist me. The animation in the attached document shows boats within the iris of the eye. As I run a sports clinic, I would like to replace these boats with a sense of people winning, perhaps historical moments at championships that people recognize. The background is that I deal with both sports-specific injuries at my clinic and common ailments of regular individuals. The feeling to convey is that one can triumph over their troubles.

I'm looking for a skilled Photosh...consider this when swapping the faces on the provided image. Requirements: - Replace the faces on the supplied photo with the specific ones I've chosen for a funny effect. Delicate discretion is required to ensure the overall balance of the image isn't disrupted. - Maintain the background scenery, body positions, color, and lighting effects of the original image. - Adjust as necessary for naturalistic integration of the new faces without compromising the original photo's features. Ideal Skills & Experience: - Advanced Photoshop skills - Understanding of lighting and angles for believable image manipulation - Creative mindset with a sense of humor - Previous experience with similar work ...

...designer who can transform a photo of a car into a vector image. However, the transformation should only apply to certain elements that I will specify. After transformation, I need the vector image saved in an easily transferable format such as JPG. I have attached the photo of the car and an example of the type of vector art I need in order to use it in my new business logo. Any edits to the business logo as a whole to incorporate the vector image of the car is welcomed. Ideal skills for this task include: - Proficiency with Adobe Illustrator or a relevant vector graphics editing tool - Strong image editing capabilities - A keen eye for detail to ensure only the required elements are transformed into vectors - Creatively inclined to retain the origi...

I am seeking an experienced video editor who can skillfully create engaging 3-5 minute montages for my YouTube channel from Twitch streams. The video edits should prioritize: - Funny moments - Highlights of gameplay - good plays from ncaa 14, touchdown passes, tackles, completed passes Your demonstrated expertise in creating high-quality, fast-paced, and comedic montage-style videos is paramount for this project. Understanding geek culture and gaming terminologies will be a notable advantage. Please include your past gaming montage edits as references in your proposal. I welcome any creative ideas you can bring that will help to make the videos more entertaining and attractive.

I'm in need of a creative and skilled writer to craft comedy skits for my TikTok channel. The highly engaging content should target an adult audience. Key Requirements: - Skilled in writing comedy scripts - Able to deliver in a storyboard format - Understanding of TikTok trends and audience preferences - Strong storytelling and joke-writing abilities The ideal freelancer should have a keen sense of humor, an understanding of the TikTok platform and be able to produce content that resonates specifically with an adult audience. I'm looking for skits that are funny, relatable and highly shareable.

I need help showing on the front end of my website on a product a display of options using a shopify app called VO Product options.

I require a skilled developmental editor well versed in female erotic romance genre to refine my manuscript, which is more than 50,000 words. Familiarity with the Chicago Manual of Style is preferred. The focus areas are: - Character development - Plot structure - Dialogue and chemistry The ideal candidate should have a solid understanding of the key elements that make a compelling female erotic romance, along with a strong ability to edit and polish narrative and conversation without losing the original tone and intent. Experience in the genre is essential.

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I'm seeking skilled animators with expertise in 2D animation to bring meme content to life. - I'm interested in animators who can create memes that are both humorous and clever, so a good sense of comedy and irony will be key. - The ideal candidate should have a strong understanding of internet culture and current trends in memes, as well as the ability to adapt these into animations. - Experience in creating content for social media will be a plus. Looking forward to collaborating with talented meme animators. We have already created the character. We just need him in different scenarios and funny situations related to today's news and current affairs while also adding the space alien genre.

I need cad models made of these clasps in matrixgold 3dm format. These are approx 23 designs. I want wholesale price dont contact me if your prices are too high

I'm seeking a skilled professional to help me leverage AI in the educational sector. - Ideal candidate is experienced with integrating AI - Must be knowledgeable in educational technology - Proven track record in enhancing educational quality Your role will be to assist in creating a more engaging and effective learning environment for students and faculty. We are looking to improve student performance, enhance teacher support, and streamline administrative tasks. Your expertise in AI and educational technology will be crucial in helping us achieve these objectives.

As the project owner, I'm seeking a professional skilled in Pine Script with experience in retrieving code from private scripts on Trading view. The key objectives of this project include: - Extracting the Pine Script code from a specific invite-only script (the script name will be shared privately upon project commencement). Unfortunately, it's currently unknown which specific script to be used, but clarity will be provided as the project progresses. - Discern the implemented functions within the script. The functionalities mainly centered around recognizable trading indicators like Moving averages, Pivots, Fibonacci and MACD. - The code extraction should consider compatibility with variable timeframes. Whilst exact timeframes aren't specified yet, flexibility sho...

I need 3000 words of content professionally.

I'm looking for a skilled developer to create a fun and engaging website for my meme token. The website will be a PARODY of a popular Adult website. NO PORN, JUST FUNNY VIDEOS. Key Features: ** Refer ** - Require all functionalities as but with the theme of pornhub website. - Videos will be hosted on youtube with link to our website as per sample. - Other then mainpage with videos there will be 3-4 other pages with general meme token information like tokennomics, Presale (no web3- just a page), Socials, dexscreener chart, Contact us etc. - Require ability for admin to upload videos from time to time. - Ideally use a tech stack like react.js ,node.js so that future web3 developments can be incorporated. Ideal Freelancer: - Proficient in web development, parti...

I'm in need of a talented individual who can create high-quality, cartoonish style animated GIFs for my marketing and promotional campaigns. Key Requirements: - Create funny and humorous, yet professional animated GIFs for my promotional and marketing needs. - The GIFs will be used across various platforms such as social media, email marketing campaigns, and website banners. So, they need to be versatile and engaging. - The desired style for these GIFs is 'Cartoonish'. Therefore, experience in creating such content or a strong portfolio in cartoon-style animation is highly desired. Your responsibilities will include: - Conceptualizing and storyboarding the GIFs. - Designing and animating the cartoonish GIFs in a way that is both entertaining and fits the mark...

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I want an expert to reference my website

I require the expertise of a translator for the conversion of a concise book from Swedish to English, focusing on Lean Manufacturing and Leadership. It is necessary that the translator is fluent in Swedish to understand the nuances in the original text. The book contains 25,000 words. While AI tools like ChatGPT 4 may serve as an initial guide, it is crucial that the final product is thoroughly revised by a human to ensure no AI remnants remain. I am able to provide guidance on the appropriate technical terminology. Kindly note, consideration will be given solely to experienced translators with a demonstrated portfolio of comparable assignments.

I'm seeking a developer who can help me resolve an issue that the google pay button doesn't appear when the allowed auth method is CRYPTOGRAM_3DS. Thank you,

I'm in need of a creative and experienced comedy content writer to help me produce humorous content for my YouTube channel. Specifically, I'm looking for content similar to 'FUN WITH TAVISHI'. Key Requirements: - Content: Create original, engaging and humorous content for YouTube shorts. The content should be suitable for a all age group. - Length: The shorts should be less than 2 minutes long. This means you should be able to deliver punchy, funny content within a short timeframe. it can be message type /emotional of story .it should be like below .

Hi Danish, As discussed in the chatbox of Project ID: 37809256, this project is to continue ‘The Work’ per the attached MoU dated 2023-11-17, which notes the anticipated services from you, the Social Media Account Manager and Marketer. Please read through the MoU again, and if you are happy with everything in the MoU, accept this project ASAP. Once accepted, we will create the milestone ($60/m) so you can continue working. An advertising budget ($30/m) will be allocated from next month. Thanks.

...representation of a house from a popular cartoon TV show( Bluey). My priority is for a full house interior layout( furniture optional) , with a close approximation to the on-screen changes throughout show so exact duplicate is not sought. The project is for non commerical purposes(gift for daughter to walk through in vr ) Attached are some ref photos but not complete a internet search will provide imagery or i can provide upon request. (Price is negotiable.) Ideal Candidate: - Experience in creating cartoonish, yet detailed, 3D models - Stylized and colorful artwork portfolio - Previous experience in architectural 3D modeling, specifically houses - Excellent attention to detail - Strong communicator, able to provide updates and progress This job requires a unique blend of...

...finalizing the final commercial design for the StarDrive Propulsion system which will be used in satellite station keeping applications. Comprehension of the design is a prerequisite, kindly inform yourself through and my YouTube channels, Dennis Plews and Dennis J. Plews. Tasks will include: - Familiarizing yourself with the existing design - Assisting in implementing specific mechanical components into the final design. Ideal candidate must have: - Proficiency in ANSYS level CAD. - Mechanical engineering experience and background. - Familiarity with integrating specific mechanical components. - Understanding of propulsion systems or similar technology would be beneficial. Looking forward to work with someone who can help finish this design promptly and efficiently

Please use this spreadsheet: I will look over the work from Y, and give feedback before adding more files. You will find the file Y1929 under "files" in this project. Thank you.

I am looking for an artistic designer who can create a realistic t-shirt design where a face of our choice is superimposed onto Gollum, the character from 'Lord of the Rings', who is hoarding over phone chargers. This original and funny shirt is intended to convey a lighthearted message about our constant need for chargers. Ideal skills and experience: - Expertise in graphic design and illustration - Proficient in image manipulation techniques - Familiarity with the concept of superimposing - Understanding of the character "Gollum" from The Lord of the Rings - A strong aesthetic sense As for our time frame: we have no strict deadline, so the priority here is quality rather than speed. We appreciate your creativity and look fo...

I'm looking for a designer to create a funny, bright and colorful T-shirt design that incorporates popular memes. - You should be able to leverage existing popular memes in a fresh and creative way, resulting in a design that's both visually appealing and sure to make people smile. - An understanding of color theory and how to use bright and colorful palettes is a must to ensure the design pops on the shirt. - Experience with designing for print on demand services or T-shirt printing is a plus, as the final design should be easily translatable to a physical product. Please share your portfolio demonstrating your experience with both humor and color, and ideally, any previous T-shirt design work you've done.

I seek for 20 CAD for the entire project which will be delivered in an hour upon receiving files.

I need a skilled CAD technician to revamp key aesthetic feat...to revamp key aesthetic features in an existing mold drawing. This project doesn't require adjustments to dimensions or alterations of components but calls for a substantial aesthetic rework. Tasks: - Redesign the visual elements of the mold CAD drawing - Ensure the aesthetic modifications fit cohesively within the existing design Ideal Skills: - Experience with CAD software - A keen eye for design and ability to improve aesthetics - Able to meet deadlines while maintaining attention to detail - Solid understanding of mold designing - Good communication to understand and meet design expectations. Remember, no dimensional changes, just a creative redesign of certain aesthetic elements. I look...

Hi, as discussed. I would be working on your 1200 words project focused on nurse burnout prevention strategies to be completed 20th of May, 2024.

I'm looking to rewrite content related to travel. The primary goal of the content is to educate readers. I'm particularly interested in maintaining the human touch in the content while ensuring it's clear and free from plagiarism. The ideal freelancer for this project should have: - Proven experience in content writing, especially travel-related content. - Excellent grasp of the English language. - Ability to rewrite content in a clear, engaging manner. - Familiarity with AI tools to ensure the content is original and free from plagiarism. Please note that while the user skipped the level of detail they prefer, the content should strike a balance between information and readability.

Hi Nima D., I noticed your profile and would like to offer you my project. We can discuss any details over chat.

Hi Nima D., I noticed your profile and would like to offer you my project. We can discuss any details over chat.

Hi Nima D., I noticed your profile and would like to offer you my project. We can discuss any details over chat.

Hi Nima D., I noticed your profile and would like to offer you my project. We can discuss any details over chat.

Hi Nima D., I noticed your profile and would like to offer you my project. We can discuss any details over chat.

I am looking for an artist with a knack for capturing the cute and playful essence of subjects. Specifically, I would like drawings of four medical instruments: a urinal hat, specimen cup, graduated cylinder, and medical ale urinal. Despite the subject's inherent seriousness, I want the illustrations to be fun and engaging without losing the recognizability of the equipment. The artwork should be on a white background. Ideal Skills and Experience: - A proven track record in cartooning with a cute, playful style - Experience in medical illustrations or a strong understanding of medical equipment - Proficiency in color theory to keep the overall image light and playful.

Hi Nima D., I noticed your profile and would like to offer you my project. We can discuss any details over chat.

I have an image that I need to be converted into a clean vectored artwork file in AI (Adobe Illustrator). The vectorization should focus on basic shapes and colors and remain true to the original design. Key requirements: - Convert a given image into a vector format - Provide the final file in AI (Adobe Illustrator) format Ideal skills: - Proficiency in Ad...design. Key requirements: - Convert a given image into a vector format - Provide the final file in AI (Adobe Illustrator) format Ideal skills: - Proficiency in Adobe Illustrator - Experience in vectorization and image tracing - Attention to detail for preserving basic shapes and colors - Good communication skills for understanding and replicating the original design Please include a portfolio of similar work in your bid. ...